standing still...........
one direction......... or not........i think many...... endless...
sometimes i feel frozen......like a deer in the headlights....lingering to what is known.....comfortable.....secure...... standing still...... and then peering out into the darkness......the vast unknown....... possibilities beyond my immediate vision and grasp.....but there nonetheless luring me to move forward....i am ready
at this stage of my life i’m often thinking about the path i’m taking.. which way to proceed... what i need to retain.. what i can let go of... embracing always my history, values, desires, and most of all the people and loves in my life.......
but i think coming off years of personal strife...it has a way of re-ordeing things of importance....and always leading me to find the light... joy, promise, excitement....... i just want more of that...living life as fully as i can...... there will always be struggle, and upset... things to contend with that challenge you to your very core..... but the best remedy.. antidote is to live ones life well.... with purpose and meaning...stay grounded , in the present (I’ve often been too bogged down with the past, the future..the past enriches; teaches lessons, gives clarity....... the future will unfold .. it’s the present that has to happen to lead to the future.....
this soliloguy of mine reminds me of a book that i kind of sneered at in my younger day...( Passages..Gail Sheehey.1974).. of course i was only 17 yo. but now i’m approaching .. i said : approaching.. 60..ONLY JUST 59
"The Trying 20s -- The safety of home left behind, we begin trying on life's uniforms and possible partners in search of the perfect fit.
The Catch 30s -- illusions shaken, it's time to make, break, or deepen life commitments.
The Forlorn 40s -- Dangerous years when the dreams of youth demand reassessment, men and women switch characteristics, sexual panic is common,
but the greatest opportunity for self-discovery awaits. The REFRESHED (or Resigned) 50s --BEST OF LIFE FOR THOSE WHO LET GO OF OLD ROLES AND FINE A RENEWAL OF PURPOSE
I’m not sneering now!
forward march!r
a beauty set in beauty
Congrats to all the people at Fraction Media that make it what it is........ a 9th anniversary , 98th issue.... David Bram, Bree, leo, lauren, thank you
I feel tickled pink to be included in this special issue with so many wonderfully talented photographers... all of whom keep our senses open.. our eyes searching and a community that keeps reaching out and supporting one another...
A beautiful old face
a beautiful old face.. the smile... as he walks down a country road.. where i spot him and practically propel myself out of a moving car.. driven to him like a magnet...
one can imagine the years lived.. what history is carried within..... oh the stories and memories he could share...
we meet on the street
we meet on the street.. she is walking towards me barefoot with a huge grin ear to ear......she slows down and pauses near me and touches my arm.......... i can see she wants to share exchanges, so i practice with the spanish I’ve been accumulating over years of studying on Skype and talk with her
I learn some about her family..the life she lives with her son that lives conveniently just around the corner......... surprised, as we are about to part, she invites me to walk along with her and back to her home.... these are the kinds of moments that remain indelible in my mind...... Inside she introduces me to many family members... including other elders and children.......with pride she shows me her family home.....along with the chickens...cats and dogs running amidst the yard......what they are cooking from the huge outdoor oven.. with its billowing smoke.......tortillas being made by the dozens....... and her bedroom off in a small sacred space of her own.... picking up items that are special to her... a radio that looks like it came from another era.....
45 mins later, with a stranger from another world.. yet not a stranger at all... she feels familiar.. like my grandmothers.. yet two women.... different tongues.... diff backgrounds, nationalities...... generations apart ... but same... Always the same denominator........
it's more about what we have in common.. our humanity, connections, than what separates us...
we part with a hug.. i take several photos.. mostly she has these huge bursting smiles.. i tell her how beautiful she looks... (to me the face is wrinkled with the history of time, a life long lived) .......embarrassed.. humbled... she hides her smile and part of her face... we say goodbye
“give it a try, whispered the heart. "
“it’s impossible," said pride.
“it’s risky,"said experience.
“it’s pointless,” said reason.
“Give it a try,"
whispered the heart....
-unknown
the hand in the window
an older ladies face peers from a dark opening..... when my gaze is elsewhere she watches me... but when i lift my head and turn her way she connects with me, holds steady staring....even exchanges a smile.... but then as if shy or uncertain she slips into the darkness.
her hand remains steady, resting on the ledge... alone it has an eerie feel, like a disconnected object, but it draws me in closer.... i cannot resist it when i know it is attached to someone who is lurking and peering at me from a dark space.
shortly thereafter , the hand finally moves away.. and closes the shuttered window.
the vintage postcard
for years I’ve collected vintage postcards from the caribbean........mostly jamaica and haiti.....but other islands..... and there are so many stacked up in my tin boxes and on the wall... I’ve often thought about creative ways to use them.. but also to keep them as document....
but then it came to me that it would be great to try to replicate some of my own images into a past-time capsule.. create vintage postcards that would be reflective of the ones i have spent years to collect..... and because a lot of the places i go and the photos i capture lend to the type of imagery that would have been made into postcards of the time
adrenalin rush of the woman's march
still reeling from the adrenalin rush of yesterday.. the feeling of solidarity versus the feeling of despair and confusion for the direction of this country the day before.....
a cabinet so appalling...unqualified or so contrary to the post they were appointed to lead... the white billionaires....oh excuse me one black...and sadly even he is unqualified for the position.. and the one woman who has never taught. gone to public school. sent her kids to public schools and cant remember that she gave 200 million dollars to the republican party....
.....and the charlatan of a president at the helm. i felt like we were going to be rudderless...
but NOOOO i remember we are our own rudders.... determining how we will iive our own lives.. day to day..... what change we can effect one another personally or globally........
WE the people are strong, able , intelligent, willing..diverse,compassionate.....
with tolerance, inclusion.. and so much more we can move mountains.. we have no other option if that’s what it will take and we are pushed to the core... called into action...... we are not going backwards ....and will never remain silent
this may have been penned a woman’s march.. but it was very much The Peoples March..it wasnts just about our bodies and rights. it was a call for a moral obligation to all of us... fundamental rights.... basic.
Good Sunday to all! my heart and mind remains open/ willing determined and defiant if need be.... hoping against hope the bark will be bigger than the bite...if not i can and will bite back
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