Often when i visit a place.. i walk to see the church/churches.. and often come on Sundays , bc i love to hear the singing and the affirmation of the community bonding...(and good for photos 0f course) and it was no different for me in St Lucia
As i approached the door i noticed many dressed up, but a lot in black and was quickly welcomed to come in and say goodbye....
it was then i realized i happened upon a funeral and an open casket... everyone was gathering around.. touching her.. taking photos... and then there was me....
in judaism.. how i grew up .. there were no open caskets.. seeing the dead was not something i was familiar with.. until i went to one in my 30s of my boss. i found it a bit un-nerving and never went to one again....
the next time i saw someone who had passed ,was when i lay on a bed with my mother when she took flight....and then my dad ,watching his last breath.. with each one i felt more deeply and no longer timid.. in fact the opposite... i pierced my eyes looking at the one who was gone in front of me taking in every piece of them... and thinking about their life, and those who mourned and shared so much history
so on this day.. as i entered.. not expecting. i took my place with everyone else.. and shared in their loss and honor of their sister, mother, friend.......... this one boy and his father told me it was his sister and son's aunt... we talked for awhile..and i spent some time remaining with them as they welcomed me to come stand near
It was so peaceful, tender and uniting , and while sad ,a joyous moment of honoring her
The Photo He Wanted Me To Take
he walks on the same few side streets every time i come to his town of Anselaraye.... i took photos of /with him from the beginning... but never liked any of them, or they felt short
he was always schlepping a rolling cart filled with things... i am not sure where in town he lived, but this time i just said hello and was not going to raise my camera.....
he then asked was i going to take a photo? i said no i was not planning to , but surely if you want me to i will...... he then replied he never saw a good photo of himself.. that he looked ugly... i felt so disheartened.. and said , so let's try to get one where i can see in your soul.. and bring back a photo soon of one you might like.
i am not sure i did any justice, but i spent about 15 minutes with him.. gave him some money afterwards to buy a meal or whatever he wanted..... , not out of disrespect or to be a handout ,but to show respect and gratitude....and told him how much i appreciated that he wanted me to try again.
HIdden Vault of Beauty
omg this moment.. was better than an orgasm... it was a photographic orgasm................ i had to stand on an edge that dropped from the second floor down to the first to take this..... took all i had not to lean in further and go down...
portraits have always been a huge piece of my photographic arsenal... but lately it's as much spaces that speak to me so loudly ..the history.. the clues to a life lived..
i took a few pieces of the turquoise cement on the ground.. a piece of this history with me..
Back Roads of Dominica, There we Met
walking the back streets in Dominica, West Indies..... i met this lady several times serendipitously on different days...in different places... on a small but beautiful island... fragile to the whipping winds of the hurricanes a few years back effecting Puerto Rico, Dominica, St Croix and many others...
i often wonder what happened to her and all those finding cover under the unrelenting bending and push of such storms.. so many homes so fragile to the elements...
i never forget how lucky i am in comparison. i worry about heavy snows on the roof.. a power outage... such a small insignificant troubles in comparison...
I love you West Indies.. and miss you.. coming back for you soon... birthplace of my photography and a big piece of my heart
a favorite image by Robert Frank
i stopped in front of this image today by Robert Frank that i have loved forever.
every time i see it, it feels like the very first time... like a new love.. butterflies... heart racing... i just feel caressed by it........ i could take it home and lay it down next to me
this one just gets under my skin.. to the tender parts, stirring so many intermingling feelings inside, like a warm oozing.... under this butterscotch sky...
if i could live with only one image.. i would be very happy to keep company with this one and stare at it forever
the absence of things
someone may look at this and think what? nothing is there.. yes,sometimes the absence of things.... the background, framework.... the lighting, and textures sets the stage.... my stomach was literally doing flip flops in this space. i loved it so much, i just lingered and lingered and didn't want to leave....... ....sometimes this is all you need....
Choosing a Direction
i've always been a bit of a rebel........when my parents sent me to a private day school.. i made sure to do everything wrong until they were so fed up with me they kicked me out......
i went back to public school. and decided i wanted to get out early.... the learning wasn't vast.. i doubled up, went to summer school and graduated in my junior year.......... of course i had to go back with a smirk to the private school and let them know.. i was hardly a failure. i had good grades, graduated early despite failing everything there to be removed... honestly , i didn't even like the concept private school.. though i understand it on all levels..
when the crowds went this way.. chose one path... starting in my teens i was always pushing the boundaries wanting to go the other direction....i just never felt i belonged with the masses....i had friends... but my calling was always a bit variant.... like many people i have in my life now some were like that back then.... and my son definitely carving his own path
call it the road less travelled.. the long and winding road..... but when i often feel most centered is when i'm following my gut.. my instinct..... i love the anecdotal interractions of life .. the spider web that is formed.. connecting us to one another .. no boundaries...no walls
while some are getting older....thinking about the later years ..settling down....... me i dream and wonder about the possibilities... yes the realities of the day to day living to pay the bills, survive and make things plausible...
but as my wise dad always said.. work hard to take care of yourself and others. always others.... that is KEY... and i'm on it..... but you want some fruits of the vine............. meaning experiences... exposure.... new moments with others.. keep the learning and evolution growing...... and while i want that home base.. of course i do...we all do.. nothing like home amongst the memories of a life , carved out how you want... i love my home...but it isnt a life in and of itself..... I also crave the motion.... the meandering .. the wandering.. the surprises...where my heart and energy are full
right now it's just percolating as i take stock of a life.. where i have been .. what things i want to accomplish,, experience.... what communities.. what kind of love that can truly flourish in my life.........
it is time to have more courage to strike out... stop waiting for others.. and get on with it.. bc the world ain't stopping. the clock is ticking... pay attention and the next thing you know another year has gone by....
This Little Green House
you drive by something.... again and again.. sometimes over a long period of years...... but your always drawn..... your eyes connect and want to linger......it’s the the needle in the haystack..
others don't see why you are stopping...what you are looking at, but now they look at me.. .....not the house.......who cares....i am here and having my moment..... it's the less obvious....... the little something .........the je ne sais quoi....... that makes me come alive..
for me it was this little green house, all alone.... lost in the middle of other homes that others would gawk at.........but not for me , it was this simple austere home with all the charm and beauty in a small field........this little green house
finally i stop and gave you your glory and took an image.
