What is Home

home......

i often wonder about the many meanings of that word..... primarily.. it's here...life on earth... mother nature, what she provides... for all of humanity.. no divisive lines

but especially in light of all the mass movement of refugees, currently from Ukraine, and for many in so many countries ......... the loss of their culture , place , language, rituals.. .. they may have a home, a bed, a structure, but often losing the way to communicate shared memories... and not yet aquiring the language to communicat some of their deepest losses ,sorrows, hopes and dreams.

so too with climate change.... we see the destruction from fire, hurricanes and earthquakes, communities wiped out.. living unimaginable after its wake..... and with the destabilization of the world..environmentally, politically , financially.. socially, on and on...we turn to each other.. count on each other...power of each other for all humanity,. equally......

in the literal and visual sense.......home generally, but not for so many is conveyed as a safe haven.. a place that you can return to at the end of the day..... cook your meals, read, work, make love and go to sleep in your own bed.. nothing like it...


But home is so much more.... it's not just the structure, but home is what happens inside... our stuff while precious to us is just an accumulation ..... we can't take it with us.. but yes it has so much importance to most of us/Me Too!!!.... .especially irreplaceable momentos, and precious items passed down through families; our art work,books, things we want to leave to create a legacy


the bottom line...is how you live your life... and how you are with the people in your life.... family , friends , loved ones, the world at large..... these people are also home.. they are my home..

so while it might be grand to think of having a big home.. or a home with a lot of amenities.... in reality.. it doesn’t so much matter.... big or small. the same cultivations of thought and purpose , dignity and life occur in a tent, an apartment or a big or small home...even those who find themselves on the street bc of so many ills in our system that lets people fall through the cracks.....they too make a home.. if you stop to notice and look...they even create one on a corner in the street., their corner or block......

home is important.... everyone deserves and is entitled to a place called home...EVERYONE

so when i see this home, which i drove by for many days.. i found myself staring at... it was beautiful to me... and wondered about the life and family inside.... as i do often when i walk this earth... we are all family..


in particular, I love the homes in the West Indies, including Cuba, . but i love them in other places of the world.. even in this country esp in rural areas.. i wonder about the life lived before ... about the families who might have been there... the old ones from a generation long gone.. but still used and life manifested.. i think back to those times.. imaging how life was different.. and often when i see abandoned spaces i walk through them and pick up remnants of things..... and spend time in the rooms (even if i trespass i find my way.. the forbidden sign doesnt stop me-) naughty nina...

recently i was in an abandoned hotel that had been therefor a ton of years.. now occupied by goats, vegetation growing inside..., broken shards of pottery , mirrors... bandaid boxes.. and other things........ a whole world of a time when it was occupied by many....... i collected some tiles. as i also did in Cuba,, even if i found tiny ones...

Home IS where the heart is......its ALL of US.

Laughter, The Best Moments

some of the best moments in my life are the very simple occurances of discovery or moments meeting people on my path through my passion and love of photography..

and so it was.. meeting this most wonderful elderly woman, happily married for over 60 years.... the mother of several children and too many grandchildren to count...... now in her late 80s , and while confined mostly to a wheelchair , she remains unhindered from being present and living life fully

i just loved how i could feel her heart and spirit as she expressively tilted her head and face backwards in laughter.

Each Man Stands Alone

my life has always been and remains passionately integrated with family , friends , loved ones....but at the end of the day... i have come to understand that ultimately each man stands alone............

how we live our lives makes a difference..... not just for ourselves, but impacts everyone around us

it's a gift.. what we choose matters.. how we behave matters.. how we share matters.. how we help and fight for others matters.....

aloneness gives you the gracious time for deep revelation... and a profound perspective

There You Are

My venture and love of Maine began as a young 4th grader when my parents wanted to get rid me for the summer because my older brothers were already gone to camp in Maine…and they wanted a Kids free house… so there i went..….. except i landed there and was deeply homesick and cried to come home… but No way.. i was to stay for two months… learn to suck it up and get with the program…

so i literally went step by step to get through the days until the distilled moments became like a different rhythm.. one that i didn’t know would grow on me..

walk down a trail to your bunk… trying not to trip on all the roots in the ground.. it became a fun game… the smell of morning dew.. the light lowering at nite on a lake,and once in awhile a dusk skinny dip… lightning bugs shimmering all around.... the walks down long winding roads just to get to a candy store with your bunk, where you'd buy those small wax bottles with colored sweet juice… ….. small seemingly non- moments became some of the best memories of a life-time

years later i ventured to Maine regularly, having a sister- in law that lives there…and two newly found friends ( now 22 years later) who live in different areas of the state.. and a brother who has a home on an island..

Maine= Summer= Decompress to a slow movement.. tick tok .... things in slow motion…... whether taking a drive and getting lost …the biggest decision is to go left or right.. lobster rolls or steamers… high or low tide…country drives.... the one and only town store… all the houses with laundry flying in the wind.. beaten down barns and lots of buoys and fisherman, …wild flower fields... flea markets, picking rocks, dives in a pond… whoopie pies.. how many i can eat in one visit and how many i can carry home…cemeteries.. collecting berries and making jam……hunt for a moose…. the old salty dogs i’d chase for a portrait and conversation,.. the search and count of trailers... the small insignificant, but most delicious moments.. signage everywhere... .. boats afloat on grass sitting on cement….. sitting somewhere in quietude with a book.. or just staring into beautiful open space.

maine is one of those places that is beautiful from the outside, but has a tempo and a tune all of its own.. and if you don't get it at first, just wait a minute and you will in time… live for the seconds. …the unexpected .. barns filled with vintage books, so much discovery.. and mostly about yourself, because you can actually hear your heartbeat and thoughts.. now this is coming from a new yorker.. two worlds apart yet so different and so complimentary.

there i am. there i was. it just is.. you just are.. be….. you go by the seat of your pants..revel in the moments.. some days are just …..ok here is morning.. here is nite.. yep found some wild mushrooms on the side of the road.... oops i left my glasses on the hood of the car and i just ran over them… yep legion halls announcing a bean dinner and bingo… yep .. get your tarp or taaaarp.. let’s get in the caaar ., which way… this way… those accents are so damn endearing..

maine is. there you are. there you go.. there we were…yep that’s all

there we were.... part of my portfolio from website... www.ninaweinbergdoran.com

Loss... endings... Life

i wasn't going to post and remember my dad today bc recently i posted a reflection from deep inside....... i am not down.... this is just life.......sometimes things bookend each other.. mb his anniversary today is a subtle reminder.. a nudge. . his love... that i have what it takes... that he is proud of me.. and that i need to also honor myself..... and i do that by sharing our life experiences..

8 years half passed since my fathers passing.....13 for my mother... anchors in my life.. ...other losses too... different kinds of loss...painful ones.....part of the living experience....

passing.. what does that mean?? an ending... the taking of that last breath. the space between when life as we know it ends..and going over to the other side..... transitioning to where?.....

we constantly grapple for meaning in life...to figure out what really matters...... so much of what we focus on does not....... and then you are no longer here........life as we know it.. gone........that can’t be the end......all that navigating.. learning.... .exploring.. all that history/ memory......

i have grappled for years now.. . trying to wrap my head around the multitude of experiences and emotions i’ve felt.... part of this wonderous life...........riding the waves... some very peaceful..magnificent... fantastic in fact..... some so lonely and painful... and then rejoicing....... in the memories.. the gratefulness i feel to experience all that it means to be human.....

when i feel those losses deep inside myself.. almost like a heart beat... rising to the surface ..... a feeling like presence overcomes me.... i see signs.... .feel that person....even those alive i feel lost from.. then connect........ is this spirit? what is the power of our minds related to this?? a connection.. or a way to conjure up and comfort our selves... or both. or a power greater than us

all i know is when i love.. i love so hard.. deeply.. that i take that person in fully.. and they become so much a part of me..i carrry them with me.. always... never forgotten.... i feel lucky for that.. even though loss is painful... to not love enough to feel the pain of that loss.. is the worst Loss of all.

today i honor that memory of my dad.. maybe gone,. not forgotton. ..life... the grandeur we still get to experience in the here and now.....and the love and depth i feel for so many that are here still wandering this earth with me.............this is not a downer.... rather just the opposite....... there is so much exquisite in the here and now.. and so happy im still here to taste as much as i can........ i take nothing for granted.... so much more work to do , experience and love and memories to create....

Belonging and Nomadic Life

I've been feeling unsetted for a long time.. i know where my home is.. where i keep all my belongings and beloved collections..I have a great air b n b where i love to host.....i meet so many great, dynamic people.. but they come and go ....... and since the pandemic ....so do i....

i've vascillated between NY and Sonoma County, California for the better part of two and a half years.. with one or two intermittent short trips..(maine and the southwest)...... and i'm always happy to come home...... want to.....my bed.. my space ..that reaks Nina......... but then at the same time i just feel disconnected, ...... like i don't really belong anywhere.. and yet while that is not entirely true, it is how i feel.. do any of you ever feel that way?

i keep saying i'm nomadic, when people comment on my comings and goings..... it’s really mostly NY/CA( to be with my son....but also, i'm just restless.. like im searching to find that time or place where i say..finally, i am where i'm supposed to be and i feel good...

i do think in part it is because i'm single. i deal with life on my own accord.........make all the decisions... no one to balance the responsibilities with me...........11 years ago i separated from my husband after a long 27 year marriage together.. i've accomplished many things.... .found my inner strength and know i am more capable than i ever gave myself credit for... . but now as i'm getting older...... i feel slightly adrift..... where do i belong?. what or who am i looking for?.. what do i want?.........what dreams or desires do i want to make happen?

i love my friends.. my family.. i feel deeply committed to all of them. would drop anything if needed............but i feel like a lone star....

today it made me think a lot about the word nomad and what it means to be nomadic... and the time i spent in Morocco.. especially the Moroccan Sahara where i spent many days visiting nomadic communities... and taking photos...... i mostly spent my time with the women...

this place among others- some new, some old.. i have a deep connection with, an other worldly feeling.. bonding... and i feel the desire to finish or continue what i began some years ago....... but it's all about memories.. desires...

not sure about the rest of you , especially those in my age group...... i'm older than i feel... 64 are you kidding me????.ill be ready for medicare next year??? what????? . i know i'm still in my 40s right??? of course i am... i'm young and tenacious. a lot of good energy and love to go around.. but i realize our bodies will not always keep up with our minds..... and i feel like i'm at a time where i’m reckoning with what was.... what is.... and what will be......

photography has been one of the biggest gifts in my life.. the language i speak without having to think in advance about what i'm trying to say... it’s inherently a part of me.. and provided me with so much of my spirit.. and it is here where i know i will fine some more of me and whatever this dis//// ease i'm feeling.....

maybe in these spaces of the unknowing are the biggest spurts of growth and understanding........

Here are two nomadic jewels....i spent the afternoon with......

After the Protest

the day was long. i had been walking for hours in the Mexican countryside capturing images and engaging with people. i even had a dead battery and had to wait on a desolate road until an elderly indigenous couple in a rickety old truck stopped to help me

arriving back to where i was staying at nightfall , i saw a gathering of people swelling by the hour into the 100's. it was an indigenous protest lasting until the wee hours of the morning and continuing to the next day.

of course i ran and got my fast lens for the darkness and stayed up talking w everyone, proudly utilizing my growing spanish to understand and give support.

eventually i had to get going. it was very late and i got a call to make my way home , that my dad was sick , in the hospital and might not pull through. i made it home the next day, he did not pull through and i was at home with him and the rest of my siblings for his passing

but... meanwhile as i went to my hotel room to sleep for an early departure i noticed all the men and women were not leaving, but would remain in protest in this square and went to bed on the sidewalks and patches of green.

the whole experience had my heart pumping... their fight for social justice and them standing firm, and bedding in place, which led to this image

between the experience of this protest and the last few nights of my fathers life i will never forget taking this image.

so it is an honor and i'm pleasantly surprised to see my photo here for the opening Creative Portrait exhibition at LACP, with Juror Aline Smithson

https://lacphoto.org/.../opening-reception-for-lacps.../...